Reading over that post, however, was a sweet window into our past. What has changed in three years:
Hello, sweet baby. You were a ton of work.
Hello, sweet baby. You are a ton of work.
And what, clearly, has not.
J. is -- and I really despise this sort of genderizing because girls are also rough and tumble, but it's apt -- the definition of "all boy." He runs. All. Day. Long. Obsession is putting it mild for his feelings about trains and cars. We're starting to get a few scribbles out of him and a little Play-Doh play, but his creativity is not project inclined. It's unleashed fury-like in the stories, games and songs he invents, the constant stream running through his head and (finally) now expressed in ever-more-clear words so we can play along.
He is still exceptionally stubborn. Quick with his temper and easily frustrated. Perfectly happy to do his own thing, but also increasingly adoring of select friends and grown-ups. He has a natural knack for uncovering who is worth his time. He's a tough kid who is slow to snuggle ("I'm not a lovebug! I'm a big boy!"), but also really needs his Mama and Daddy -- a lot -- for validation and to not feel alone.
It's all way too familiar and ever-so close to home. I can only hope to help him temper that temper; to understand that big feelings can be scary, but they are also his best asset in this big world. And that he will never, ever be alone.
Since the last update, I'm still making it up. I fail as much as I succeed -- in fact, the past year has been dubbed The Year I Quit on so many fronts that I've lost count. But the lessons learned, though bittersweet, hold immense promise for us. And for me, who finally accepted I'm old enough to know what I need, without apologies.
As a family, we still roll around on dirty, dog-hair covered floors. Preschool is our godsend. TV limits have evolved to what J. can watch (bless you PBS Kids and train videos on YouTube -- who knew, but see obsession noted above), but happily he uses TV more as background noise than goggle-eyed zombie zone. The Binky Fairy visited last Saturday and took J.'s precious "pink binkers" to Princess Charlotte in Een-gah-land (she lives next to his Nana and Papa, don't you know), leaving behind a (ahem, Target dollar bin glow stick) magic wand. And in an amazing breakthrough, J. is starting to branch out from mac and cheese, quesadillas, grilled cheese (note a theme?), etc. to try real food. Even if we have to call meat "carrion" -- thanks, Dinosaur Train -- for it to have almost-three-year-old appeal.
But above all, we are lucky to have three years running of Full, Warm, Dry and Safe. Every day involves tears and shouting. But it also involves so much love I can hardly bear it -- a burden I accept gladly, today and hopefully forever.
